afatherswalk

Archive for the ‘A Fathers Walk’ Category

Before you get the wrong idea this article was not intended to be sexist.  As a father of two wonderful girls and a wife that I love dearly that is the last thought that would be expressed by me.  What I am pointing to is a by product of the new economy we are now facing.  Why I am pleased to see women achieve great heights I also see the damaging results that this new reality has done to many American families.

Women are working incredibly long hours leaving very little time for their family and or their health.  I took a three month contract with a major bank to bring in some extra money for Christmas and was shocked to see a department where there was only 4 men and over 95 women.

The area of expertise for the bank was Foreclosure Utility Services in which they process the paperwork with attorneys for Foreclosure.  The work is highly detailed and requires many long hours with the amount of foreclosures that is being processed.

Fortunately for me I am in my last month and a half of work.  These women have done a double shift they have worked 12 hours day and the management staff comprised of 3 women and one male have put in 6 days a week for over 6 months.

In the short time I have been there I have heard and seen women grossly obese, chain smokers, diabetics, and the like.

Many of these women’s marriages are in deep jeopardy as they have disclosed to me.  I pray for many of these women and feel a deep sadness for where we have now headed.

All of these women have a deep desire to provide everything for their kids materially but no sense of what the cost is to them or their family.  By no means is this intentional but just has now been accepted as the norm.

I end with these two questions “If you gain the whole world financially and loose your health and family is it worth it?  What kind of world can we expect if work debt and consumption permeates our women and family life?

I find it interesting that the same issue affecting the American and Europe population is soon to effect the Missionary on the field in most churches.  That issue is Retirement.  Currently speaking we are going to face having to pay more for missionaries who are unable to perform in the capacity as they once did for new missionaries going to the field.

This problem has been brewing for some time now and whats most incredible is that there is really no talk on how to fix this problem.  If you look at the demographics of many United States churches the largest contributing population is baby boomers and the soon to be baby boomers.  The generations after don’t make up enough in number to replace them and don’t have the financial capacity either.

In my state the numbers are staggering the average age is over 55.  In my church and the surrounding churches the numbers are increasing with greater number.  We already support three missionaries who are retired with a roster of 12-15.  The average age of most missionaries are in the 50′s or 60′s.  We just had a younger couple go to the missionary field they are in their late 30′s early 40′s but it will take close to 3-4 years to raise enough capital to get them to the field.

With more and more missionaries retiring the ratio will begin to reflect 2 to 1  very shortly possibly by year 2015 if the lord shall tarry.  Now if he comes back before that time then this article will not be necessary and solutions will not have to be thought of but if not we have a serious problem.

We need to have more talk of finance and entrepreneurial ideas for these problems especially for the global financial changes that are now on our doorstep.

We all know that politicians cannot be fully trusted.  This truth has never been more apparent then in the recent presidential debates for Republican candidates.  I for one only believe in one who unfortunately has no chance of winning.  That politician is the honorable Ron Paul and advocate for liberty since 1970.  You will have a chance to pick up his thought process at the end of this article.

But not to get too far off track the christian community up until recently was toting Herman Cain for his simple straight forwardness and so call background.  How soon have things change with over 4 allegations of sexual misconduct.  I am not here to debate his guiltiness or innocence but to state look at his record.

He once served as a pastor of a Baptist Church and then as a head of the Federal Reserve Bank in either Chicago or Cincinnati not sure of the location but certain of his position.  He finally settled on a franchise owner for a pizza chain.  I am not sure how the progression from preacher to the world of business translate as a smooth transition.  To me this is a conflict of interest. From his background each progression seems to be for more money and power.  I am sorry not trying to be cynical but pointing out something is a amiss.  Anyone serving on the banking board is to be questioned at the very least.  We have to become more financially educated and trust the lord more to see peoples questionable actions.

Again quick sounding anecdotes like 9 9 9 cannot fly in a day in age were simple sounding solutions cannot fix complicated cultural changing mindsets.  We live in a society today of entitlement and socialism.  This is not from only poor people but from politicians and the mass majority of Americans.

So please beware and think for liberty which the Constitution stands on.  Here is some reading from a man who stands for both.

There is nothing more important than living up to the role of a father.  Although it may seem a loosing effort in American culture there is a renewed committment to this importance in the Christian community.  This has not been more evident than the must see movie COURAGEOUS.

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This movie opened me up to an awarness for my daughters that many times I loose sight of in raising them.  I love my daughters dearly but loving them and equiping them by being the man I want them to marry is something different.  Although I believe I have been doing a decent job this movie propelled me to do better.

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There was also another caveat it awakened a talk with my dad which started off rough but opened a new growth in our relationship.  I admire him and proud that he was willing to step up to the challenge of getting to understand me more.  For years I have tried to allways understand my dad but felt slighted since in my view it was only one sided.

Although that was not my dads intention instead of being angry at me bringing this up he showed true strength and courage as he listened to me and is really working hard to expand our relationship.  He even may post some thoughts on afatherswalk.com which for me is priceless.  I love my pops and with his renewal to me only shows how much more I have to do for my wife and daughters.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE

Trailer

I know crazy title right! But its amazing how this area in politics is publicized as the great evil of our day. Everyone from Republicans, tea par-tiers and even Evangelical Christians all tote the dangers and evils of the Socialism protocol that is labeled to most Democrats.

From the start I am not a socialist or belong to any political party I think for myself and look at the individual instead of the party.  I am an evangelical christian and believe the Bible is God’s word to instruct us.

Now that I have said that I do question the notion of calling any particular party a strict Socialist or labeling anyone as being against capitalism because truth fully speaking most of America runs by a socialist mantra.  We don’t function by a free market not as long as the Fed dictates monetary policy.  In addition many companies and even churches would not exist without government involvement.  Over 50% of CVS business is directly tied to medicaid which is a social program.  Churches benefit from tax exclusions and technically speaking do not produce anything in the purest form of production.  America’s largest population of baby boomers many of them live off the biggest social programs in America which is Social security.

We really don’t want to function by the free market because it requires you to be free.  A long forgotten notion to most people including some Christians and many proponents who cry President Obama is a Socialist.

I am a capitalist in nature but I know how people would not be able to survive in a pure capitalist society.  I tote the honorable Ron Paul and his stance for the Constitution and liberty.  I am sorry to say unfortunately many people who are against Socialism really don’t want a free market either.  No more putting money in banks and receiving a return on the money without risk.  No more crying to the ineffective SEC for regulation in the stock market.  No more government grants or any institution that redistributes wealth and does not produce anything in turn.

No more government pensions: state and federal.  You will have to learn to invest and rely on the lord for your existence and your abilty to adapt and change to an ever changing market.  So again socialism is bad but are you really ready to change it now .  I know I am but we first have to get people to understand how deep socialist behaviours is ingrained in our American society.

Even with disaster there presents opportunity. My wife’s employment asked her to work for one week a 12 hour shift in which they agreed to pay her nearly double her going rate. The effects of Hurricane Irene although painful for most has also presented work for some who desperately needed it and for the service industry sector to receive a high level of overtime hours.

While the disaster it left is still in the mix of being handled and power outages being restored on the east coast the effects not seen hit more home for me personally.  Why I did not mind my wife getting the extra hours the toll it takes on a family may out weigh the benefits.  In my wildest nightmare I would never even though of agreeing for my wife to work a 12 hour shift.

Although the money she will earn will be put to good use and is needed the price my daughters missing out on not seeing their mother I am not sure was worth it.  My daughters are 7 and 4 and even though I am home with them to shelter the missing of their mother I cannot give them what their mother can.  Oh I know its just for a week and today September 6th was her last day for the shift what we will do for money has to change.

Some might think I am spoiled as so many  people globally as well as domestically  would love the opportunity to work that many hours. To an extent this is true but a half of a day or more for any women being away from their family is not healthy in any society.  Women are the life blood and the heartbeat for nurturing for children.  Unfortunately this fact has been glassed over and it is now acceptable for women to work as many hours as possibly can.

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This is not to be sexesist I value any womens capability to do anything in any industry.  But their is no balance anymore and the extent for what we as a family will do for money needs to change.  I am working dilligently to get financially educated and rebuild my self as an entrepreneur and investor so we will not have to make the 12 hour shift decision for my wife to do Lord willing ever again.

My girls are more worth it.

Hurrican Irene came with a vengeance and when I thought I wouldn’t be affected I was an in a major way.  I have never experienced a power outage before.  Well that is not really accurate I have been through a power outage before but not one of this magnitude and length of time.  As a resident of Richmond Virginia power outages are not uncommon but never as wide spread as this one was.

Never the less I consider my self grateful for no external damages and my power being restored after the 4th day.  Many people are still without and that is most unfortunate.  I learned a great deal just in the shortness of time my power was out.  I took for granted how much I depend on the world of modern electronics and the convenience of electric power and all it brings.

In my world and I would venture a great deal of people convenience is everything.  I now depend tremendously on access to the inter net and the use of my laptop since this is now my main ways I focus on generating revenue from.  Oh I have other means of making income outside of the inter net but that is not where my focus lies now.

Interesting enough my two girls and wife were so relieved to have the power restored as well.  The t.v addiction which can only be powered by electricity was missed.  We did read and talked frequently but reading by candlelight gets old quickly in the information age.  I now will learn to be more appreciative and to not take for granted the privilege of modern convenience.

Wow what a dependence and it will be hard to imagine a life designed without it.

I took some time off from my usual grind of rebuilding myself and my companies as an entrepreneur and spent three hours in the pool in my neighborhood.  To say it was a great time would be an understatement the day was magical the only thing missing was my wife who was not with us due to work obligations.

As my daughters played and used their imaginations to come up with games derived of princess and mermaids I watched in awe and smiles.  I allowed myself to try to imagine when I was their age; and a I did I realized and was glad my children have no idea of what it was like to grow up where I lived and how I grew up.

I had no naivety or should I say it was stripped from me due to my family’s financial status.  Poverty in the inner city streets of Harlem and Brooklyn N.Y. during the 1980′s and 1990′s surely put an end  to any form of innocence I could have had.  I am not writing this to paint a pity party on being poor but my gratefulness for my daughters not having to be succumbed to my childhood upbringing.

I do not shelter my children the neighborhood and environment I am fortunate to live in does it naturally.  I believe naivety should be reserved for all children regardless of financial status. However this ideal is not reality. But for anyone who has the grace to live in the United States even in the most impoverished areas has the chance to improve his or her circumstances financially with God’s grace.

That my friend is the love of a father knowing my daughters have the most fortunate grace of this reality.

Nothing has been more challenging than for me to try to rebuild my business and myself as an entrepreneur and take care of my two daughters ages 6 and 4. My wife and I agreed to this experiment after I worked a full time job for a year and rebuilt our businesses.

I never saw my girls once I was laid off of the full time job my wife began to look for work. Now this was a challenge since she has been a stay home mom for 7 years. But, the lord blessed us and she obtained a job. So off she went to work why focused full time on the business and watch the girls.

Sounds simple enough I thought how wrong was I. The first week was a disaster as my 4 year old got sick and cried for mom continuously. The sickness stopped but the crying persisted for way over a month. I will fast forward in 3 month increments other wise I will be writing for days of the sheer every day gut wrenching pain I experienced for 1 year. I use the year as a benchmark since it took me that long to get acclimated to the change.

I have done everything from cook, clean, go to girl scouts, home work, cry, yell, apologize, complain to my wife, pray continuously, scream in my closet, and experience every emotion a person goes through when they have a nervous break down.

My business has rebounded slowly since I cannot devote more than two hours a day to it without interruptions. The experiment is still continuing as I am now in my second year. My saving grace is my 4 year old will be in kindergarten next September. While this is a year a way I dream of the time to work uninterrupted from 8-3 each day.

It is going to take me 2 -3 years to get my wife fully back home I am praying to speed up the process and possibly get her home by late next year but I am confident in 2-3 it will be accomplished lord willing. I can truly say I now understood what my wife has gone through for the 7 years staying home and watching the kids. I have found a new appreciation for women and grown to love my wife more for all she does and has done.

I found a great book that I am recommending to dads who have girls we have a huge responsibility in our children’s life especially our daughters. The book is by Meg Meeker M.D it is called STRONG FATHERS STRONG DAUGHTERS. I have enclosed the book right here to purchase just click on the book it is a must read for any dad raising daughters.

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